Katherine
God gave us the gift of Katherine Mun-Ming Johnston on January 2, 1958. He called her home peacefully with her daughter and husband at her side on June 4, 2003. In the too little time she had on this earth she gave us warmth, laughter, and love and she will be missed. Katherine was a loving mother, wife, sister and friend who touched all she met. She is survived by her husband Joseph M. Johnston, daughter Tabitha L. Hwang, sisters Christine and Joann Shih. Katherine was born in Hong Kong. She moved to Chicago IL at the age of nine. She graduated from Northern Illinois University with a degree in speech communications. She was furthering her education in computer science at the time of her passing. Her last position was with Adecco Technical services as a Quality Assurance Web Site Tester. She was assigned to Beckman-Coulter in Brea CA. A celebration of her life is being planned.

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  1. It has been almost 3 years and 8 months since I lost you and not an hour goes by that I don’t think of you. I loved you and still do, but then you know why, you still have my heart mind and soul. Give them back. There are time when I think of you especially if it is a happy memories and a smile crosses my face and for a moment it is as though you have never left. Some day we’ll be together again but until then I will always be your loving husband.

  2. There are so many memories of you and I together. We had thirteen wonderful years, they by so fast and ended so soon. I miss you so much sweetheart, yet there are so many times when I remember a momnet and a smile creases my face and for a second it is almost as if you are still here. You were the best thing that ever happened to me and I carry our love with me still

  3. It has been over 26 months since I last held you sweetheart and I miss you still. I think of you everyday, I remember our life together, the laughter, the kisses, the tears and I thank God that he allowed me into your life. During your illness you would look at me and tell me how sorry you were that you were putting me through this. I would answer that there was no where else and nothing I would rather do than to be with you at that moment and help in what meager ways I could to ease your suffering. I am thankful that I was there, I’m sad that we had to part, I’m sad that you died but if I was chosen to live on without you than I am glad that I was there every step of the way with you. You were a precious gift and I was blessed to have you in my life. God how I miss you. I am now and always will be Your Loving Husband

  4. I think of you often sweetheart, I miss you so much. Your death will always be unacceptable to me. I’ve come to terms with it but I cannot accept it. This time three years ago we knew that the cancer had spread and that there was not much hope and I relive that time over and over wondering if there was anything else I could have done. I loved you so much and I always will. Now and forever your loving husband.

  5. Kathy you are missed by me I feel like I can\’t call any time if I am down or happy. My baby sister you are deeply missed by me. Now I have your beautiful picture beside me. I can talk to you now, take you all over the place… You are now in the heaven of god no more pain…. luv sis..

  6. Too young, too soon, too short. You went ahead to a better place, prepare a place for us. We will meet again one day.

  7. My Dearest Wife, I now come upon the second Easter without. I can\’t help but recall how sad our last Easter was together. We had just found out that the cancer had spread and your time was limited. I know we tried to keep up the good cheer, but we did not succeed. I remember thinking just how were we going to get through what ever time we had left. I did not know that we had less than two months left. I was an optimist I always thought there would be more time with you. I really did believe that the clinical trial would work it sounded so promising, but I guess God has his own plans and no matter how hard we try to fight, God always wins. Those last few months we had together were difficult, but I would not trade them for anything. Thought it was difficult watching you deteriorate I look back now and am so thankful that I could be there for you. Yes, those were difficult months, but I now believe that they happened for a reason. I may not fully understand that reason but it is there none the less. God how I loved you and how I miss you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. I am now and always will be Your Loving Husband

  8. I miss you more than words can express. You are on my mind every moment of every day. we\’ll be together again sweetheart, until then I will try to live life to the fullest. I know that you are with me and will help guide me. I also know that someday this sadness will be lifted from my heart and maybe, just maybe when all the emotion that is rolling around inside me subsides I will feel your loving presence. I love you and I miss you. I long to beable to hold you again. You will always be my baby and I will love you always. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. You must pardon me if I am just a little bit angry that you were taken from me so soon. Always your loving husband

  9. To My Wonerful Wife, You live in my heart still. I will treasure our time together and keep your memory alive until that day when we are reunited again. I will love you always

  10. I Love you sweetheart and and I always will. How I wish you were still here. Forever your loving husband

  11. I miss you so much. There is not a moment during the day that I do not think of you. I try to get to the gym as often as I can, but everytime I go I see you there. I stop at the treadmills that you loved to go on and I see you there with you headset on. God I would give anything to have you back. I am still in love with you and I always will be.

  12. I cannot believe it. No matter how hard I try I cannot get used to you being gone. My love for you is as great as ever, my heart is still filled with love. At times my heart is heavy, I now realize why. It is heavy with the love that I carry for you. There is no way to release this love so sits at the base of the heart and grows; it continues to grow even after death. I miss you so much Katherine. I never dreamed it possible to miss anyone as much as I miss you. You were my life and you will always be my love. I will never tire of looking at you nor of loving you. Forever your loving husband

  13. To My Dearest Wife, Had God not called you home you would have been 46 years old today. I miss you so much. I will always carry the love that we shared in my heart, no one can ever take that away from me. As I know you would wish I will move on and I will find the joy of life once again, but right now at this moment it is difficult. Yet, as each day passes I find myself smiling more and as I remember our life together the joy we shared creeps slowly into my heart. The memories are bittersweet, but they are good and I will cherish them always. You will always be in my heart mind and soul Happy Birthday Sweetheart, you were the best thing that has ever happened to me. I will love you always. I will forever be your Loving Husband.

  14. You will always be my first love. I can not get used to you being gone. I have a strong need to communicate with you for as long as I feel the pain of your loss. I am so much in love with you and so lonely without you. I guess I will never understand why God took you away so soon, but I guess he has his plan. I miss you so much and the pain of losing you is great. I wil forever be your loving husband. I long for the day when we are together again.

  15. Sweetheart, Remember your look when you saw the storage room we had rented for our move from springwood. We had gotten rid of so much stuff and you thought we had down sized a great deal. After the move I took you over to see what we had in storage and when I opened the door the look on your face still brings me a smile. That was in 1998 and I still laugh over that. We laughed a lot together. We had a wonderful marriage. I have so many wonderful memories, enough to last a life time. With you gone they are bittersweet but they still manage to keep me grateful for what we had. forever your loving husband

  16. Today is the 220th day since I lost you, I have cried each and every one of them. I miss as much now as I did when I first lost you. My love for is as strong as the first time I ever saw you. I carry your picture with me everywhere and I will always cherish what we had. Someday, sweetheart, I will move on as I know you would watn me to, but right now I still mourn you death. I know that you are with me for I feel your presence many times. I feel your presence in my dreams also that is where you send your message of love. Someday in God\’s good time we will be together again. Until then I will carry with me the memories and the love that we shared. I will forever be Your Loving Husband

  17. To My Dearest Wife, I want you to know that you are in my heart. My love for you is as great now as the day we met. I miss you, sweetheart. Life is not nearly as pleasant since your passing. I will carry your loss with me forever. How I long to hold you again, to hear your voice, to see your smile. Someday, Katherine, we will be together again. Until that day I will always be Your Loving Husband.

  18. My Dearest Wife, I Thank God every night for allowing you into my life. I am so grateful to have shared 13 wonderful years with you. Someday in God\’s good time we will be together again. Forever Your Loving Husband

  19. To My Dearest Wife, In all my tomorrows You live in memories and distant dreams In place visited and moments long ago You dance in my heart and soul

  20. To My Dearest Wife, I have so many wonderful memories of our life together. I have more than enough to last the rest of my life. It has been difficult without you, but as hard as it has been to lose you it would have been a far greater tragedy never to have known you. I am a lucky man. We had a wonderful marriage and a good friedship and we were great lovers. Even though I cry almost every day since you left this earth I also realize that when we fall in love there is a price to be paid. I pay this price gladly and would pay it all over again if I could. I will always be your loving husband. I will be with you again someday. I am still in love with you and always will be. Your Loving Husband

  21. Sweetheart, I miss you so much. All my days are empty without you. I long to hear your voice and to reach out and touch you. I will have to wait though until that day when we are together again. Until that time I will always be your loving husband

  22. Sweetheart, Too young, Too alive and Too short was your time with us. Too great is our loss. Save a place for all of us who loved you and in our dreams we can receive the love you send our way. The love we shared with you was genuine and will survive this time apart. As for me I will always be your loving husband

  23. My Wonderful Wife You are in my heart and soul. I wait impatiently until we are together again. I will carry our love with me always and cherish each and every memory of our life together. I am so grateful for the life we had and the opportunity we had to share and support each other. We were not perfect, we just did the best we could with the tools given us and that was enough. I miss you sweetheart. I long to hear your voice, to hold you close. Remember when you used to see an older couple walking hand in hand and would ask “Are we going to be like that”. My anwer to that question now is still yes. It will just be different. When I am old and gray I will still hold your hand it will just be in my heart. No matter what the future may bring I will always be your loving husband.

  24. Sweetheart, I cannot get rid of this empty feeling I carry within my heart. That special place you used to occupy is vacant only memories linger. They are but just a whisper of your presence and do not compensate for what was lost. I move forward slowly, I carry my love for you willingly and know that you are with me. No matter what the future brings I will always be Your Loving Husband

  25. Every time I go to this site I keep hoping that some how this was all a mistake or a bad dream. I am constantly disapointed as it is all to real. You left us too soon and too young. You left us richer for having known you, but we are sadder for having lost you. You are in my heart and you always will be. I am so grateful for the 13 years we had together and so disapointed that we will not enjoy are retirement years together. I never realized how good I had it until it was too late. I tell everyone to cherish every minute they have with their loved ones for the end will come soon enough. I Will Always Be Your Loving Husband

  26. Sweetheart, All my waking hours I carry with me the feeling that something is missing. There is an emptiness in everthing I do. I keep putting one foot in front of the other and take each day one at a time. I long for the wholeness that I felt when we were together. I never thought it would be this hard losing you, but it is. I miss you so much and there is no way to alleviate that loneliness. I search for answers where there are none. I seek comfort in visiting the places we visited, I find memories but no comfort. I will just have to wait until we are reunited again in a place far better than here Forever Your Loving Husband

  27. To My Lovely Katherine, Thank you sweetheart for being my wife. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being my lover. Thank you for being there for me for thirteen wonderful years. Everytime I think of you I thank my God for allowing you into my life. I was truely blessed and I am so grateful. As I move ahead to whatevey is to happen in the future I will carry our love with me forever. I Will Always Be Your Loving Husband

  28. Sweetheart, There is still part of me that is bewildered that you are gone. Everytime I come to this site and see your name I cannot understand how this could have happened. I know it did the pain I feel tells me it did. I just do not understand how someone as healthy as you were and who lived a healthy life style could succomb so quickly to cancer. As hard as I try I cannot come to terms with your death. I know that death is part of living but it is always difficult when someone young dies. I will move on as you would want me to but it is taking longer than I thought it would. I am still in love with you and I always will be. I will carry this loss with me for the rest of my life no matter what the future holds for me. There will always be a special place in my heart for you. I will always be Your Loving Husband

  29. Sweetheart, I miss you so much. The pain of your loss has subsided a little bit, but not having you here still hurts. Memories filter through my mind and brings a smile, but memories alone cannot heal. I put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward as I know you would want me to, but when I look back and see only one pair of footprints when there used to be two it feels lonely. I love you sweetheart and I always will. You will always be in my heart as I wait until we are reunited again. I will always be Your Loving Husband

  30. My Lovely Katherine, I am still haunted by your death. I am here at work and all of a sudden I find myself spiraling downward in saddness. You are gone and there is nothing I can do about. I am on a roller coaster ride emotionally. I felt pretty good this morning then I crashed. I am so in love with you and being without is almost too much to bear. I know that I am healing because three months ago I would be in tears right now. I miss you so much, nothing will ever be the same. I cannot understand how this happened. How you could be so healthy and then die so quickly. Goddamn it, it hurts so much. eight and a half months later and it still hurts. I need to vent honey that is why I am writing this. I know that both you and God will understand. I was not ready to let you go. I feel cheated out of 20 to 30 years with you. We were supposed to grow old together now I must do so alone. I cannot believe that this has happened, but of course it has. I need you sweetheart and I can get used to the idea that you are really gone. I felt so good this morning now I am in despair. I hate this up one minute and down the next. We humans are such isolated creatures. enclosed in our bodies we feel separated from the rest of humanity and it is only through our love for someone else that we feel connected. When that connection is severed we once again are separated. I try to make sence out of all of this and it is hard to do when you are in pain. I love you Katherine and I pray that your suffering is truely over. It would hurt so much more if I thought that you were not feeling the joy that I imagine your feeling. We will be together again until then I will try and honor both your life and your memory. I will always be your loving husband.

  31. The world was not as inviting as you hoped to find, but it is a lot sadder one that you left behind. We miss you Katherine and we wait until we are together again. You remain in our hearts and we cherish the memories that each of us has of you. God bless you and God help us get through the times we have ahead of us without your smile

  32. My Dearest Wife, There are time when the emptiness is too much and I have to write you. This is one of the few ways I fine relief, at least for a little while. I sit here at work and I have such a strong urge to try and contact you somehow, God how I wish I could talk with you and know that you are alright. To hear your voice again to hold you in my arms and to whisper how much I love you, these are dreams devoutly to be wished. I know that it is impossible in this lifetime and if I had a thousand more lifetimes I would never tire of you. I miss you so much and it does not seem to lessen. Each day I awake and you are not beside me. Each day I come home and you are not there. Each night I go to sleep and you are absent. The world may not have been as nice as you hoped for, but it was not nearly as lonely as the one you left behind. I will always love you and I will always be Your Loving Husband

  33. To My Lovely Wife, You are and always will be in my heart. I am so grateful to have had you in my life for as long as I did. Loving you was the most pure act of my life, caring for you the most important and losing you the worst. You were the best thing that has ever happened to me and I will always be your Loving Husband

  34. It has been almost nine months since I lost your physical presence and it has been the longest nine months of my life. I miss you very much Katherine. My love for you has not deminished and my heart feels with joy every time I remember you. I am so grateful that God saw fit to allow you into my life, although the time with you was way too brief. I feel your presence at times and I will always carry the love we shared in a special place in my heart. Although neither of us was perfect we were perfect for each other and we were there for each other through the good and hard times we had. I am grateful to God that I was able to care for you during your illness and I pray every night that I was a good caregiver. I am accepting the fact that I will carry with me the loss and that is okay. There is always a price to pay and when we get into this thing called life we have to be willing to pay the price. The sadness I feel now is a small price to pay for having had the chace to love you. No matter what life has in store for me in the future I know that our love will carry me through. You are at my side even if I can\’t see you and you love will help guide me on the adventure that await. I will move on sweetheart as you requested and would want me to, but I will never leave our love behind. Whoever enters my life in the future will have to accept that fact that I was once married to a wonderful woman as I will have to accept their past. I will always be Your Loving Husband

  35. Sweetheart, I keep you close to my heart. It has been a little over 9 months since you left this physical world and I have missed you each and every minute. There is still a part of me that cannot believe that you are really gone. You were so young and healthy. You looked great right up until a few weeks before your death. I am grateful that you did not linger like so many others. I know that God was watching over us even if I did not feel it at the time. I know that you are watching over both Tabitha and I now. I sometimes feel your presence, but I want more. I want to hear your voice, to hold you, to stroke your hair. What I wouldn\’t give for one more day with you. How I regret all the wasted moments we had. You know sweetheart I was thinking about those wasted moments, the time we were angry at each other. Each and every one of those moments were over something that was of no importance. Petty annoyance that we allowed into our lives and destroy a moment. Why do we do that to ourselves? Will we ever learn? I doubt it. I get so angry at myself now when I think of those moments, because each one of them was precious, never to be retrieved and we let them slip by never realizing how important they were. I am so sorry sweetheart, please forgive me. Can any of us live as if each and every day is our last. Can any of us ever realize that each moment is precious. When I look at couples now who I know love each other and I hear them bickering I want to scream. How can you waste such valueable time on something so inconsequetial as whatever you are bickering about. How I wish I could have another chance, God how I would do things differently. I would treat every moment with you as if it were my last, because now I know how important you were. I will always be Your Loving Husband

  36. Sweetheart, God I miss you so much. They were wrong it does not get easier with time. Your Loving Husband

  37. My Dearest Wife, I miss you so much. It never seems to relent. This time last year we were about to have our final decent weekend together. A year ago after 03-22-03 everthing started to go downhill. You started having the pains which turned out to be the tumors growing in your lungs. We were still ignorant of you condition, we thought you had just pulled a muscle or something, but you started to go downhill. It hurts so much to think about it, yet my mind seems to want to linger on these thoughts. Every night during our years together we went to sleep in each others arms and again it was around 3-25-03 when you were no longer able to lay on your right side, we stopped holding each other at night because of the pain. These thought are flooding through my brain and I suppose they will for the next few months. You went downhill so fast, sweetheart. You did not have much of a chance to fight the cancer, it was so aggressive. Time does not erase the memory which lingers in the mind and brings the sorrow of the past to the present. I will never get over losing you. I will be able to deal with it better and I will find joy again, this I promise you sweetheart for I know it is what you wanted me to do, but I will forever carry the loss with me. Who ever comes into my life in the future will have to accept that there was someone special in my life in the past. She will have to accept that as I have to accept her past. I loved you more than anything else in the world and that love continues to this day and will continue until we are together again. I will always be Your Loving Husband

  38. You are and always will be in my heart and soul. I treasure each and every minute that I had with you. I thank God every night that he allowed you into my life, even if in my opinion it was for a too little amount of time. I am and always will be Your Loving Husband

  39. My dearest Wife, You are now and forever will be in my heart. It has been almost 10 months since I lost your physical presence, but I feel your spirit with always. I miss you honey and I will be with you again in God\’s good time. Until then I cherish the memories of our life together. I am now and forever will be Your Loving Husband.

  40. My Dearest Wife, You are always with me, sweetheart. I feel your presence,I carry our love with me always. I am and always will be your loving husband.

  41. My Dearest Wife, Our love remains with me, I carry it in my heart always. It has been a little over ten months since I lost your physical presence, but I feel you with me. I miss you, but I know we will be together again in God\’s good time. I am and Always will be Your Loving Husband

  42. Katherine, Remember our first trip together. We went to San Simeon for an extended weekend. It was such a lovely trip and I remember how hard it was for me to head back home. I wanted to stay there forever with you. A few years later we went back and stayed in Cambria and we had fastasies about living there. Our trips were few but they were always nice. We had a lot of fun together. It was sad that it had to end and I guess I will always wonder why. Like just about everyone else who has lost someone they love we find it a little difficult to accept. We both knew when we fell in love that one of us would be left to carry on alone. I accepted that I just did not think it would be this soon. Losing you at the young age of 45 is difficult, I feel cheated, but even if I had you for another 30 years and then lost you I would still feel cheated. I love you and always will. I am and always will be Your Loving Husband

  43. My Dearest Wife, I miss you sweetheart. Our love continues on in my heart. You are never far from my thoughts and I thank God everynight for allowing you into my life. I am and always will be Your Loving Husband

  44. My Dearest Wife, This is my way of starying connected to you. I log on to the website ever so often and send you a message. Remember our trip to Ohau? Since we never got to take a honeymoon and this trip was just for three days we always called it our practice honeymoon. We had a good time. We got to see the island. Spend a little time together away from Children. It was a nice three days and we were so sad when it had to come to an end. There were so few trips that we were able to take so when we did get to go on one we enjoyed it fully. We had a pretty good time together no matter what we did. It was great being married to you and It is sad that it ended much sooner then either of us anticipated. Never in my wildest dreams did I thing I would lose you at such a young age, but then God has his own agenda and it does not always match ours. I loved you with all my heart and that love remains with me today. I go to our spot in Redondo beach often and I always feel close to you when I do. No matter how sad I feel I always find peace there. I believe strongly that I feel your presence and like the waves kissing the shorline peace washes over me. I will move on. The grieving process goes on, but it is losing its intensity and there are days when I can look forward to the future with anticipation. What does not leave me is this feeling of a great loss. That remains with constantly. The feeling that something is missing in my life continues even now 11 months after your death. I cherish the memories of our life together and will always carry them in a special place in my heart. Someday in God\’s good time we will be reunited again. I love you and I always will. I am and always will be Your Loving Husband

  45. Katherine, I miss you so much sweetheart, even now as I approach the first anniversary of you death I am aware of how much your absence affects me. I loved you with all my heart and that love remains as strong today as it did the first day I met you. I believe strongly that we were meant to be together. I at one thought we would grow old together, but God had other plans and as we are all aware God\’s plan usurp ours. We will be reunited again in whatever awaits after death and until then you will always have a place in my heart. I will always cherish the memories of our time together. I will move on as I know you would want me to, but I will never leave you completely behind. I am now and always will be Your Loving Husband

  46. My Wonderful Wife, You are missed sweetheart. Tabitha brought a dozen beautiful white rose for mothers day and left them next to your ashes. We both miss you so much, but as they say life goes on and as the days pass by the pain lessens little by little. I loved you with all my heart and I still do. Your are will me and I feel your presence. You are and alwasy will be my most wonderful wife. For my part I am and always will be your loving husband

  47. My Wonderful Wife, I was just sitting here thinking about you and how much I miss you. It is hard to believe that it has almost been a year since you died and not a day goes by that I don\’t think of you literaly hundreds of times. I miss you so much. Time does have a way of healing, but it can never erase the memories of our love that remains until we ourselves die. I would have it no other way. To lose that love would be like losing you all over again. I look forward to being reunitied with you in what ever follows death and I do believe that we will be reunited. Until then I am now and always will be Your Loving Husband

  48. My Wonderful Wife, 52 weeks ago today you gave the world your last breath and passed into a memory. I missed every second of every minute of every hour of every day and I long to be reunited with you. I will have to wait for that moment. I loved you with all my heart and that love remains as strong today as it did when I first met you. It seems so hard to believe that it has been 52 weeks since your death, the pain seems much fresher. I miss you sweetheart and I will always feel the loss. There is no pain greater then losing the most important person in your life. I am now and always will be Your Loving Husband

  49. Sweetheart, You will forever be in my heart. My love for you is as strong today as it was the first I ever laid eyes on you. The world may not have been as beautiful as you hoped to find but it is a sadder one that you left behind. I am now and always will be Your Loving Husband

  50. To My Dearest Wife, We have gone the full circle since you have left your physical presence behind. The days are long, but never to be as bright. The nights are warm, but lack the warmth of your presence. Needless to say I miss you and I still long to have all back the way it was before cancer entered our lives. I loved you with all my heart and the passage of time has not deminished that love, it continues to grow. I am now and always will be Your Loving Husband

  51. My lovely Wife, God how I miss you, even after almost 14 months my heart is still broken at having lost your physical presence. Thank God for memories they will keep me.

  52. To My Wonderful Wife, You are still in my heart. I will love you always. No matter where life will take me from here I will never let the memory of our love die. I miss you and I still feel your presence whenever I take a walk along the promenade where we used to walk. I am now and always will be Your Loving Husband

  53. My Dearest Wife, It has now been 14 months since I have lost your physical presence. I miss you so much. Your death still hurts. There are days (and this is one) where I feel your absence more than others. God, I loved you so much. The sad fact is we really do not appreaciate what we have until it is gone. I have thought a lot about that fact since your death. I have thought about the arguments we had over the years and tried to remember what they were about. None of them were very important, we made them important at the time, but in fact they were nothing but power struggles. I have thought about how much time was wasted with those arguments, how many precious moments were lost because we engaged in some silly power struggle. Now that I no longer have you I long to recapture those moments and of course I cannot. Why do we humans insist on not recognizing what is really important in life. Why do we waste time on the small events. What I would not give to have all the moments that were lost back and to be able to use them again and spend them with you. Like the song said “I would trade all of my tomorrows for a single yesterday holding your body close to mine.” Life is still empty without you and I suspect it will be for sometime. I am so grateful for the time we had, but I still have a daily argument with God about the length of time (I still feel it should have been about 30 years longer, you died too young.). You know sweetheart, just emailing you or sending a message like this to you always seems to help. Almost every time I end up a little more calm and a little more peaceful. I do love you Katherine and I always will. I am now and always will be Your Loving Husband

  54. Sweetheart, The memories of our life together are a treasure to me. There are times when I sit quietly and reflect onto a time when the future that lay before us was full of promise and our love was in full bloom. A calmness comes over during these times and a smile never fails to come my way. Sometimes it feels as if your right next to me and we are recalling these events together. I miss you sweetheart and I will never accept your death. I will learn to live with it. I will smile and laugh and enjoy life as much as the next person, but there will always be an emptiness within me, at that special place that you used to occupy. This emptiness will be with me for as long as I live. I am so grateful to have had you in my life. I am grateful for the love that we shared. I am grateful for every kiss, every touch and every embrace. Though our time together was short our love was enough for a lifetime. I am now and always shall be Your Loving Husband

  55. Katherine, I miss you so much sweetheart. Sunday would have been our 13th wedding aniversary, no longer a happy occasion, empty without you. It has been almost 15 months since you died and hardly a minute goes by in which I do not think of you. Someday I will be with you again. I am now and always will be Your Loving Husband

  56. My Dearest Wife, It has been over fifteen months since I lost your physical presence. You are never far from my thoughts. I miss you so much that even now it still hurts. What a fool I was in not making more of the time we had together. When I think back there are so many precious moments that we lost. Moments were we were irritatated with each other or angry, these are all moments that we lost. When I think back on our arguments none of them were very important, none of them. Those are moments that are lost and can never be recovered. So many precious moments hang like a cloud over me. God, we are so foolish. The sad fact is we don\’t even realize it until the one you love is gone, then it hits you and it hits you hard. So many moments lost. We believe that there will always be a tomorrow. We count on it, bank on it and never doubt it. One fine day we wake up to find that there are no more tomorrows and we live with yesterdays. I love you and miss you. You will always be close to my heart. You were the best thing that every happened to me. Loving you was the most pure act of my life. Caring for you the most important. I am now and forever will be Your Loving Husband

  57. My Dearest Katherine, You are in my heart. My love for you continues to this day and will never diminish. I miss you so much. I will always cherish the time we had together and I thank God everyday that he allowed you into my life. I have a little quarrel with Him about the length of time He allowed us (I think it should have been longer), but I am grateful for the time that He did allow us. I am now and always will be Your Loving Husband

  58. My Dearest Wife, The healing process continues. It now has been almost 16 months since you left this physical world. I still miss you very much but I better able to cope with your loss then I was a year ago this time. I still feel your presence everytime I become still and quietly remember you. That presence helps me get through each and every day. I know that the reasons why these things happen, why people die young while others live to a full life will always elude us the living. I accept that fact. I never will accept your death at such a young age that will always be unacceptable. I do accept death as part of life. All things die and so will I, but dying at a young age should always be unacceptable, even though it does and will continue to do so. As I said earlier the healing process is doing what it is supposed to do. We are nothing if not resilent. Somehow we always seem to bounce back. I am getting used to be a bachelor again. I don\’t like it but I have no choice. I do not seem to have a great need at this point in time to find someone, but I am not opposed to it either. The days are taking on their separate colors again and the pain of losing you has deminished greatly. I accept that I will never be totally free of the pain, not do I want to be. There is part of me that wishes to hold on to the pain for it keeps our love alive. We had a good marriage and I am grateful that God allowed me into your life. I pray that I was a good husband, I know you were a good wife. You were the best thing to ever happen to me. I am now and always will be Your Loving Husband

  59. My Dearest Wife, We are now in the 2nd Holiday season since you departed from you physical presence. I miss you sweetheart and my love for you is as strong as ever. I long for the day when we are reunited. It is still bewildering to me that God called you home at such a young age. I love and miss you. I am now and always be Your Loving Husband

  60. My Dearest Wife, There are days when I feel your loss so much more than other days. Today is such a day. I usually find that Mondays are the hardest day of the week for me to get through. They were easier when I had your physical presence. I miss you so much. Even though I have come to terms with your death it does not diminish the loss that I feel. I know that at times I am just feeling sorry for myself and I also realize that I am far from alone in losing someone, but that is of little comfort. There is so much pain in this world. I believe that there is far more pain than joy. I guess it is easier to dwell on what we do not have than on what we have. I was lucky to have someone in my life that I cared deeply about and I would not change a thing. I would gladly do it all again. All of that being said I just wish that none of this cancer business had ever happened and I know that I speak for thousands if not millions of people who have lost or are losing someone to that damn desease. The truly sad thing is (I know I have said this before) very few of us really know what we have until it is too late. I see it in every ones eyes, they give lip service to the knowledge that someday they may be alone but they do not really believe it in their souls. I know I didn\’t. Even though I told you I loved you almost every chance I got and I kept telling myself that it was because I knew that there was always a chance that this would be my last opportunity, I always thought I would see you again. Now 19 months after your death and I still feel the loss. I never realized just how much you meant to me nor did I realize how much I needed you. I still do. Because you use to bring up your belief that you would go before me I use to try and imagine what it would be like to lose you. I remember feeling that there would be an empty feeling, but I was unprepared for the totality of the loss. I was unprepared for the devastation that I was to feel. I was unprepared for the bleakness and emptiness that I would feel. I was unprepared loss of control, up to that point I always felt that I or we were somewhat in control of our destinies, after your death that illusion was shattered. I now believe that even though we must act as if we are in control the fact is we are not. We believe that if we do ABC then DE&F will naturally follow, but that is not the case for there is much that is beyond our control. Even if we do everything that we are supposed to do fate, God or whatever you want to call it might intervene and something else intirely will happen. We lived relatively healthy we tried to exercise and keep the stress level down and we loved each other yet cancer still entered our lives and took yours away from me. Meanwhile there are people walking aroung today who smoke, do not even try to eat the correct foods and never exercise and they are the picture of health. I don\’t want to say that there is no justice in this world, but there does not seem to be any consistancy. I celebrated your birthday yesterday. It would have been your 47th. I went for my usual walk then I went up to PV and our favorite spot. I recalled some of our times together and I felt so warm when I did. I loved you so much and I do miss you, by God I do. I am now and I always Will Be Your Loving Husband

  61. My dearest Wife, I miss and love you still. I am now and always will be your loving husband. Someday in God\’s good time we\’ll be together again. Until then I cherish the memories of our life together.

  62. My Dearest Katherine, I love you and miss you. I thank God everyday that he allowed me into your life. I know we will meet again, so until that time I cherish the memories of our life together. I am now and always will be Your Loving Husband

  63. It has been over three years since I lost you and you are still never far from my consciouness. I miss now as much as I did three years ago. God How I loved you. I think of you each and every day. There is still part of me that cannot believe that you are gone. I feel cheated out of thirty years with you. I will always love you. You still have my mind heart and soul. Now and forever your loving husband.

  64. My Dearest Wife, It has been over 2 years since you departed this physical world. Not a day go by where I do not think of you or miss you. You are always with me in spirit. I loved you with all my heart and still do. I have no idea why God called you home so soon, I may not like it but I have grown to accept it. We were supposed to grow old together but that was not to be. I wish there was someway we could do this all over again. I love you and miss you I am now and always will be Your Loving Husband+

  65. My dearest wife, today would have been our 14th wedding anniversary. How I wish you were here to share it with. I miss you sweetheart and I cherish our time together. It still seems surreal that you are gone. It has been almost 27 months since your passing and it feels like yesterday. I will always honor your memory and continue my argument with God over his error in taking you too soon. I am now and always will be your loving husband

  66. I miss you sweetheart. You are never far from my thoughts. It has been over 4 years now and I love you as much now as I did when you were here with us in the physical world. You will always be in my heart. Now and Forever Your Loving Husband

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